Welcome to Dallas

One day I would like to make a list of all the ways in which Dallas is the polar opposite of New York, but for now I will give you this special road sign.  I find Dallas absolutely impossible to navigate, and signs like this most certainly do not help:

Oh, duh, I'll just exit here and turn loop or loopy-loop.

Pardon?

I also, actually, find it incredibly difficult to communicate with the natives.  I asked someone at the hotel for a pen, and she looked at me confused, maybe even slightly disturbed, and said, "A what?"  "A pen?"  "What?"  "A... pen?" [pretending to write]... "OH!  You want a PAAAY-EN."  Oops!  I forgot to say it in 3 syllables.  My bad!  I actually think it's kind of cute, but literally makes communication difficult sometimes.